Saturday, 25 January 2014

Cider Leaks - Leicester CAMRA Beer Festival

OK everyone, sing along now: "It's the most... wonderful time... of the year"... Yeeeees, it's a happy time. A festive time. A snow-flecked, bunting bedecked, bawdy, boozy, jolly-big-day-out time. It's very nearly time for this years annual beer, cider, and curry 'Wassail' at the fabulous Leicester CAMRA Beer Festival. In Leicester. Did I mention it's going to be fabulous? The extra-absorbent party hats are on order, and everyone has promised to put their festive red noses on for the duration of what promises to be the city's biggest and very best festival. Of beer and Cider. And Curry.

Now, tradition means a lot to us here at Rockingham Forest Cider, never more so than with the annual jamboree that is the Leicester CAMRA Beer Festival. For example, it's a much loved tradition round these parts to take cider bar manageress Susan firmly by the hands, and firmly insert those delicate pinkies into the ancient relic that is the Leicester CAMRA 'Watneys Red Barrel Thumbscrew', the most devious and frankly disgusting torture device known to womankind. This way we aim to extract precious and hitherto safely guarded knowledge regarding the cider and perry order for this years festival. Whereupon we splash it all over this blog.

Sometimes it works. Sometimes she cracks under the intense cuticular pressure. Sometimes it doesn't, but the look of unbridled joy on her otherwise terribly distressed face at the thought that someone has taken the trouble to ask! Well, that's worth a thousand blood-curdling screams in the night.

This year I think it's fair to say that it hasn't worked. She's clammed-up on us like a captured Mollusc of la RĂ©sistance. She ain't squeekin'. What can we do? Perhaps pressure of a different kind needs to be applied...

Blackmail it is then!.....

A well known cider bar manageress personality. Identity revealed soon... unless we gets what we wants!!!

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