Village Cider Shortage - Hosepipe Ban May Follow

Breaking News: Villagers and visitors alike have been left reeling at the news that Middleton hostelry the Red Lion has almost ran out of Rockingham Forest Cider. In a shocking turn of events, which pub regulars have described as '...a bit of a bugger', the cellar is quite literally 'almost dry' of traditional cider for possibly the first time since records (of cider in the cellar) began.

When asked to comment on the current desperate state affairs, licensee Kevin Barby is quoted as saying '...we've got lots of Perry', before adding '...and you can quote me on that'.

Strong sales of traditional cider over the Summer months have taken their toll on availability at the Red Lion, and it's perhaps no surprise that cider levels are at an all time low following mass outbreaks of people drinking it. Although we're still quite surprised...

Red Lion licensee Fiona Barby had this to say on the current cider shortages: 'We've got plenty of Green Horse Perry', before suggesting that '...if you like Perry, we've got some, and it's very nice'.

A Red Lion regular who wished to remain anonymous was quoted as saying 'It's an absolutely terrible state of affairs. In the absence of any Rockingham Forest Cider I've been forced to drink Rockingham Forest Green Horse Perry, and I've found it to be very nice indeed', before adding '...can I have my £5 now?'